


The world moves on (yet I remain here)

by Tkhan0



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: ...eventually, Also a character study of sorts, Hurt/Comfort, I tried ok, In which Saïx is a terrible person and Isa has regrets™, Isa cannot handle emotions, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Slow Burn, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III, Takes place from days to KHIII plotwise, but it is, like so slow you'll wonder if it's even there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkhan0/pseuds/Tkhan0
Summary: Before he had realized it, instead of finding one friend he had ended up losing two.And with it a new surge of emotion crept into his carefully constructed fortress of emptiness, cold and heavy, like carrying the weight of the moon itself. It was a disgusting emotion that trickled through the cracks, but one he was quick to recognize this time.Jealousy.





	The world moves on (yet I remain here)

**Author's Note:**

> Haaa. It's finally done. This came out waaaay longer than expected. Hope that means it's good.

When he was young he took for granted the calming peace of his companionship with those two. A sense of camaraderie and togetherness that was very well defined. It didn't have to be any more or less.  
  
But the dynamic always shifted in a way he couldn't quite place when it was just him and Lea. They were still just as much friends, but somehow things felt different when it was just them. Confusing.  
  
He didn't like it.  
  
One day she just disappeared and all that was left were the confusing emotions. He wanted to return to that peaceful calm that was like the gentle lapping waves of the shore, with clear cut emotions and feelings, and leave behind the stormy turbulence and uncertainty of this new dynamic.  
  
He spent so much time trying to find her so things could return to normal, that he didn't even notice he had begun losing Lea too.

* * *

Upon joining the Organization he felt closer to his goal. Closer to that sense of normalcy and belonging than ever before. The storming emotions he felt as Isa with Lea were gone, a cold emptiness, like an overcast night sky, in its place. He took reprieve in it. It grounded him, made him feel weightless, allowed him to focus on the tasks at hand.  
  
The two hadn't had any real plans for how they were gonna take down the Organization and find their friend, so he hadn't found it weird if they went long periods of time without seeing a trace of each other, and that neither of them had anything to report when they did. He always made to check on Lea after particularly long or hard assignments to make sure he was still there but otherwise it was a comfortable distance between the two.  
  
Although he never got why Lea looked so much happier whenever he checked up on him.  
  
Eventually even those brief respites stopped as things began to pick up pace at the Organization. Isa thought nothing of it and just hoped Lea would stay out of trouble.  
  
When their 13th member, Roxas, joins their ranks, he has no problem pairing him off with Axel. But before they can leave, Roxas takes special interest in the 14th member Xion, which piques his interest. What did Roxas see in her that they did not? She was simply a puppet.  
  
Well it was of no matter to him as long as they got work done.

* * *

He finds that Roxas has warmed up a lot to Axel in particular. Even when they are not sent out together they return together. A tradition of sorts? That was just like Lea. Befriending anyone who'd give him the time of day.  
  
Suddenly he was acutely aware of the distance he had put between him and Lea.  
  
It bothered him more than he cared to admit.

* * *

When he gives Axel the orders to go to Castle Oblivion he tries not to revel in the fact that Roxas wont get to hangout with Axel. Dealing with traitors was no easy mission and there was a chance Lea wouldn't come back. So he adds "And try not to get yourself killed." to which Axel rolls his eyes.

* * *

 In his absence, Roxas makes friends with the puppet of all people. Perhaps Lea had rubbed off on him. It's clear Roxas misses Axel, how so, when he barely knew him, remains a mystery, but he coldly informs him they haven't heard back from any of the Castle Oblivion members since the Castle fell.  
  
"He might be gone forever." He says before walking away. It's of no concern to him how Roxas deals with that information. He didn't fully buy it himself; despite his appearance, Lea could handle himself. He would focus on his own work for the time being.  
  
Shortly thereafter, Roxas falls into a comatose state. For a brief moment he considers if the thought of not seeing his “friend” Axel again impacted him  _that_  much, but quickly finds the notion ridiculous, reminding himself that that is a separate matter and it is his connection to the one chosen by the key that has caused Roxas to be unresponsive. He informs the superior that Xion can wield the keyblade now, satisfied that someone can fill in Roxas' and Sora's shoes in releasing the heartless. Things at the Organization are still continuing on at the same pace. Perhaps he should consider their goals more seriously, if things with Lea didn't go to plan...

* * *

For some unknown reason, the puppet goes to visit Roxas everyday, until finally he wakes up. What exactly has changed at Castle Oblivion? He takes it to mean his hunch was right.  
  
Soon enough the man himself shows up to prove it.  
  
"Why didn't you report in?" He doesn't bother with pleasantries.  
  
"What? Not even a word of appreciation?" Lea feigns annoyance.  
  
"All I heard is that Namine has gone missing."  
  
"There one minute, gone the next. I don't know how she got out." He doesn't believe that for a minute, but he doesn't push it too hard. Whatever happened, the organization has its 13th member back. Things will proceed as expected. As long as Xemnas doesn't start suspecting either of them….  
  
"Man, you were right about Marluxia though. Was in on it the whole time."  
  
"I simply sent off the troublemakers."  
  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"...Good to see you made it back." He says turning to leave. And it was.  
  
"I disposed of Zexion. Just like you wanted."  
  
This gives him pause, but he doesn't say anything of it. Maybe things would work out in their favor after all.

* * *

 Lea is hiding something from him. Roxas, Xion, and Lea... they're up to something. And he's buddy-buddy with both of them now.  
  
"Tell me what Xion has been doing."  
  
"Well how should I know? I'm not spying on her."  
  
"The two of you look pretty close." He says with a hint of indignation in his voice.  
  
"So what, now I should just rat on my friends to you? I think you should just go..." Was  _he_ not still his friend? Lea was being more stubborn on this than he anticipated.

"We also need you to go back to Castle Oblivion soon. That castle hasn't given up all its secrets. One even Xemnas doesn't know the whereabouts of."  
  
"Even he doesn't know about? You mean the chamber, right? We turned that place inside out, we're not gonna find it by just looking..."  
  
"Well then let me give you another reason. Xion comes from that castle." He says, fishing for a reaction, one that he gets. "Yes, that castle... it's practically calling you, don't you think?"  
  
"Heh, whatever. You're the one who really wants to go there. If you find the chamber, you might get some clues to Xemnas' agenda right?"  
  
It was true. He needed more information, one of them ought to be looking for it. "Xemnas has an agenda he hasn't told anyone. We are bound to find some clues in the Chamber of Waking. And once we have those clues... we will have the upperhand for our own objectives."  
  
"Well I can handle the all dirty work. You go all the way to the top."  
  
He supposes he can leave it at that for now. "You will be going on a solo mission to Castle Oblivion. Expect the orders soon."

* * *

 Isa is waiting for him the moment he shows up. "What took you so long?" He suspects he already knows the answer.  
  
"It's my vacation, I'll spend it how I want. Since when do I have to check in with you?"  
  
"You're letting yourself get too attached to them..."  
  
"Yea, yea, whatever you say." Lea says curtly, clearly the subject was not up for debate.  
  
He pauses before filling the silence. "You know... you've changed." He says not sounding nearly as accusing as he wanted.  
  
Lea doesn't dignify him with an answer.  
  
He wondered if Lea really was the one who had changed.  
  
Or perhaps... he preferred the name Axel now.  
  
Before he had realized it, instead of finding one friend he had ended up losing two.  
  
And with it a new surge of emotion crept into his carefully constructed fortress of emptiness, cold and heavy, like carrying the weight of the moon itself. It was a disgusting emotion that trickled through the cracks, but one he was quick to recognize this time.  
  
_Jealousy_.

* * *

 They find the puppet having not completed her mission in one of the worlds. She reports of having fought an imposter.  
  
_Useless thing._ "We can't afford to take any more chances with you. You were a mistake we never should have made. " He said it with such vitriol and contempt it almost scared him, but it's not like he had a heart to lose sleep over it.

* * *

 The puppet failed another mission and became comatose shortly thereafter. It seemed that was a common theme amongst keyblade wielders.  
  
Roxas of course asks to see her. He tells him not to bother with that failure. What did he and Axel see in that pathetic fake?  
  
"Hey, that was uncalled for!"  
  
"I told you to stay out of this."  
  
"Well  _I'm_ telling you I have a right to know. Can't you just be straight with me for once?"  
  
"Do you mean like you have been straight with me?"  
  
"Got me there..." Axel averts his eyes, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.  
  
He sighs. "Xion has no right to be among our number. It's plain to see. I have nothing more to say."

Some days later, the trio returns again carrying the puppet. "Well that didn't take long, did it break again?" He can't help but condescend.

"She's not an "it!" Roxas declares, fire in his eyes. Lea simply leans in and tells him "Keep your mouth shut" before walking past.  
  
"...You  _have_ changed." He says aloud, more to reassure himself than anything else. "Just what happened at Castle Oblivion? Does the past... mean nothing to you...Lea?" He wasn't sure anymore. 

* * *

 "I have sent Axel to clear out our facilities at Castle Oblivion."  
  
"And?"  
  
"...And someone unauthorized accessed our computers last at night."  
  
Xigbar laughed at this "As if you don't already know who it is. Little miss poppet is turning into a problem."  
  
"Nonsense, I see no problem whatsoever."  
  
"Haha, the things you hear from a guy with no heart." Xigbar's smug grin infuriated him. That one could not be trusted.  
  
"It is of no matter. Axel, Roxas, and Xion... will play the roles Kingdom Hearts has given them" Xemnas' booming voice interjected.  
  
"But sir, Xi-"  
  
"Don't you see? This is perfect. We need not take any more steps. All we must do is watch with caution and patience."  
  
They were dismissed, but the meeting had left him uneasy. Things were going perfect for Xemnas, but he still hadn’t an idea what his agenda was.  
  
Xigbar was right. The puppet was becoming problematic. He needed to keep it under close supervision before things got even more out of hand.

* * *

 Axel brought Xion to him despite everything.  
  
"You're sure things are better this way?"  
  
"I never expected you to question it. If you could choose to save one, why would you pick the puppet?"  
  
"Or put it this way, which would you rather suffer the loss of: some make-believe friendship, or a real one? Things are finally as it should be... Lea. We can't afford any more slip ups."

* * *

Despite his warning, Axel let the puppet escape again, this time not even bothering to explain himself. They were so close to reaching the top and learning Xemnas' agenda, and he went and ruined it all, for what? Roxas and that  _thing_ ?  
  
Xemnas demanded Axel go retrieve it. "The Superior's orders are absolute. Do not return without it."

But you send someone to fix one problem and another arises.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"Out of the way!"

"The Organization doesn't accept resignations."

Roxas' response had been to slash at his face.

"Heh, you're a brave one." He had been itching for a fight anyways.

"I'll leave you with nothing!"

He had to admit, Roxas had grown considerably since his first days in the Organization. An admirable opponent.

But he had been weak... and allowed himself to be bested.

Roxas walked off undeterred.

Was he really that pathetic on his own?

_Kingdom Hearts... will your strength never be mine?_

* * *

If he thought things couldn't get any stranger, he was wrong. Roxas had been missing for some time, but the Superior didn't seem the least bit concerned. They were no longer 13 members strong, yet Xemnas seemed content to bide his time.

Axel hadn’t been taking the loss of Roxas too well, constantly moping about.

Regardless... their plan had all but fallen to shambles. They were supposed to take down the organization together, use them to discover the whereabouts of their friend. But Lea... had gone and made new friends. It seemed he no longer had time for ghosts of the past.  
  
But where did that leave him?  
  
The Organization's pawn. Maybe it was time he fully dedicated himself to playing the part.

* * *

Axel had finally been dispatched to retrieve... or destroy Roxas. He was warned that Roxas may not remember him or any of his time in the organization, if so, he was no longer a member of their ranks and needed to be eliminated.  
  
It was very convenient how they knew all this, and even where to send him. Why had they waited to dispatch him? How did they learn all this? Had this been part of their plan all along? Perhaps he had underestimated Master Xemnas' true power.

Sometime had passed. Roxas had not been destroyed and Axel had not returned. His whereabouts remained unknown. But someone else had returned. The hero of light, chosen by the keyblade, had awoken from his slumber. Given this, Axel's whereabouts were irrelevant to the Organization. It seemed he was given a free pass. For now. There were other matters to attend to.  
  
Kingdom Hearts would be completed soon, there was no denying that.

* * *

They had been to see the boy. The round room was abuzz with chatter. Doubts were raised about his abilities and whether he'd be able to complete kingdom hearts.  
  
He only hoped Sora would prove to be useful in the end. The hearts already released were surely getting restless. They could not afford to delay things any longer.  
  
"Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably... they destroy themselves." Had he a heart he would've laughed at the irony. Him, lecture someone else about losing their true purpose? What else was he even still doing among the Organization's ranks if not waiting out the calm until the Organization's plan went into full effect? He had lost his purpose long ago.  
  
Perhaps the correct way to put it was he had failed.

* * *

He had played his part, confusing and angering the hero of light, before reporting back to Lord Xemnas.  
  
"Good. That anger will fuel him to get rid of his apprehension and move forward. He will pave the way to the future we desire."  
  
"Yes but there was something I've been meaning to ask..."  
  
"About Axel... The poor fool, chasing after the illusion of friendship when he himself can no longer feel. Trying to retrieve something he has lost... when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity." He says nothing at this, but the declaration angers him. Try as he might, he certainly had not forgotten the friendship he had lost. How was it he could be told it was nothing more than a mere illusion of emotion, when it left such a gaping hole where it once stood?

* * *

Axel had finally shown himself to the hero. He really couldn't stay away from Roxas.  
  
"We'll make sure he receives the maximum punishment." He said, holding an arm out to prevent Sora from following.

"I don't care about any of that!”

"If it’s Kairi you’re worried about, then don’t. We’re taking very good care of her.”

“Take me to her! _Please!…_ ”

“Show me how important she is to you.”

The keyblade's chosen one got down in front of him, as if reduced to nothing by just words. He smirked at the sight "I see... in that case... No." Sora was young and brash, he did not yet know the foolishness of continuing to chase someone and losing himself in the process, but he soon would.

"You rotten...!"  
  
"Are you angry? Do you hate me? Then take that rage and direct it at the heartless."  
  
"Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts.” But were he not just as pitiful, mindlessly following orders for the vague hope of obtaining power that they still didn’t fully understand? “The rage of the Keyblade releases those hearts. They gather in darkness, masterless and free... until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts.

“And when that time comes we can truly, _finally,_ exist.” He would convince himself of this, if nothing else. His time would come when Kingdom Hearts came to fruition.

* * *

The headcount in the Round Room was down to a mere 4 at the moment, with Luxord and Xigbar accompanying him in reporting to The Superior.  
  
"This house is looking pretty empty, huh? I thought I'd get a kick out of watching Axel throw one last tantrum, but he went a lot quieter than I thought."

"Perhaps he won what he was seeking all this time."  
  
"That's absurd. He won nothing, and IS nothing. He couldn't stand the emptiness of being without a heart. And THAT led to his demise. He was foolish and weak." That's right. Axel- no Lea- was gone and he was still here. He refused to consider Lea the victor here. To die for the mere illusion of friendship… and to throw out their friendship in the process. There could be no doubt about it, Lea was the one who lost here.

He would not make the same mistake.

* * *

"Xemnas, is Kingdom Hearts ready?"  
  
"Very soon."  
  
"Then I can end this charade?"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
A smile spread across his face "How I've waited to hear that."

Either he would die and end his time with the Organization or Kingdom Hearts’ strength would be his.

He found he almost didn't care which happened.

* * *

Shortness of breath was the first sensation he had awoken to, followed by fear and confusion. The last thing he remembered was losing to Sora yet here he was alive, with a physical form. How had this happened? And where _was_  he? All these sensations that had long remained dormant...  
  
Just  _what_ was he right now?  
  
"Saïx, is it? Or is it Isa now?" His head snapped up to locate the foreign voice.  
  
"Welcome back to the land of the living. I am Xehanort."  
  
Perhaps noting the surprised reaction he elaborates, "I was sent to the future to gather my alternate selves in order to form... the true Organization XIII."  
  
"And what is your business with me?" If he was Isa again, the Organization had already strung him along once, there was no reason to expect he'd ally with them again.  
  
"I have a proposition for you."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"Join the real Organization XIII. In exchange for helping us you can be sure to be given immense strength and power. Oh, but I'm sure you've already noticed how weak you are now. Your somebody lacks any real physical strength, not to mention you have to deal with those pesky, pathetic emotions..."  
  
As if reading the hesitation on his face, the younger Xehanort continued. "Do you really want to be shackled to the memories and connections of your past life? Rid yourself of your humanity and you will have to deal with them no more. And in exchange, you will gain a seat in our counsel. The true battle has only just begun... Of course, I'm sure you're aware you're not exactly in a position to refuse..."  
  
"You make it sound as if I don't actually have a choice in the matter."  
  
Young Xehanort smirked at this. "Your future has already been decided. In truth your decision has already been made. And the Organization doesn't take defections lightly, as I'm sure you recall." It was eerily reminiscent of his last words to Roxas.

“That's quite a strict contract, don't you think? Even in death there is no escaping the Organization…”  
  
He gave it some brief thought. He was not foolish enough to assume he could rid himself of all ties of the past by accepting but...  
  
He wasn't ready to face Lea again. Wasn't sure he'd ever _really_ be ready. If he stood with the Organization, there was also another chance on getting some information about her.

...That is, if she even ever existed. It had been a long time since he was whole. Could it be... that he had simply made her up?  
  
_Power and strength_. He always felt weak when he was alone, but with this he would never have to rely on anyone again. Maybe this was destiny.

* * *

Of course he'd have to face Lea sooner than expected. Lea had a way of writing himself into the story at the last minute.  
  
" _Isa!_ "

Were they ever going to be on the same side again?

He didn't respond, but a single thought unbidden arose _"Stay out of it this time, Lea!"_  There might not be another chance for them if they died this time around. He didn't want him screwing it up.  
  
The plans were already under way, this intrusion was only a minor setback.

* * *

The fated battle was finally going to take place soon. If they succeeded, true power would be his. But before that... he wanted to see Lea again. Who knows how things would change after tomorrow. He might not get the chance again...  
  
"Shouldn't you be saying goodbye to your _real_ home?"  
  
"Huh?! Why are you here?"  
  
"I'm not here to fight, relax."  
  
He snatched one of the ice creams Lea was holding.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You can't eat all of this. Why'd you buy three? One for Roxas... and two for goodluck?" Or did he make yet another "friend?"  
  
"I don't know, I just felt like it!" It was almost funny how hard Lea was trying to sound angry and tough right now.  
  
But he had come here for a reason. He needed to know once and for all.  
  
"Do you remember her? The girl we used to visit in the castle?"   
  
"Yea, of course I do."  
  
"We even joined the research team so we could save her..."  
  
"Yea, well we failed! She wasn't even there..."  
  
"You gave up." He said it cold and unwavering, as if it were a fact and not a statement.  
  
"I did not! Things just got out of hand real quick. First Ansem disappears, then we become nobodies, then we're doing rotten jobs for Xemnas. I... I just couldn't keep up, ok?!"  
  
"Doing those "rotten jobs" was the only way to get closer to the truth."  
  
"Yea well, I helped you rise up the ranks so it better have paid off! Have you found her yet?"  
  
"...I'm afraid not. I didn't find a single clue about her whereabouts. It's almost as if... she didn't exist at all."  
  
"You blew it then! What are you still doing working for them?"  
  
"Who knows... But I won't be weak anymore. Roxas... is just like our friend; gone forever. You need to accept it."  
  
"Yea right, I'm gonna bring em both back! Especially Roxas! I'll even drag you home!"  
  
"...The marks under your eyes are gone."  
  
"Huh? Yea, well I don't need em! Now get lost, I'll beat some sense into ya tomorrow."  
  
Despite it all he smiled, and somehow, it felt genuine. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

It was the dawn of the final battle. Whatever happened next he would not hold back.  His  pursuit of strength had finally paid off, his veins coursing with power.

But one thing bothered him. The replica. The one Xemnas had personally commissioned.

Why did she feel so  _familiar_? She had only been finished and ready for action just hours ago. Once again Xemnas was withholding information from them...

* * *

Lea shows up to fight him just as promised. But he's using a keyblade that's unwieldy at best, which he's clearly not proficient with. It's almost disappointing he came so ill-prepared. Between himself and the replica, Lea and Kairi are short work. Sora comes in midway to liven things up, but even he isn't able to turn the tides in their favor. _Is that all the guardians of light have to offer? Pathetic._ Enough is enough, he decides, sending Sora and the girl flying. They've gotten in his way long enough.

“Stop it, Isa!” Before he can get to them Lea gets in his way. _You really want me to deal with you first, huh? Fine, have it your way._ He raises the lunatic above his head to strike but-

He hesitates.

And in that moment of hesitation Xemnas sees an opportunity and takes it, relieving  him of the task of putting an end to Lea.

Even with the odds stacked against him, Lea doesn't back down. It seems that hasn't changed.

“There once was a time I trusted you to take care of traitors, and now your betrayal outstrips them all. What last words do you have for your Superior?”

“Hmm, How about... You were _never_ my Superior.”

“Ah, ever the rogue pawn, knocked from the board early in the game. Useless and forgotten.”

“Are you kidding me? I've got loads of people rooting for me. Sorry boss, but no one axes Axel. Got it memorized?”

Lea slashes at Xemnas- or rather attempts to. Xemnas catches it in one hand.“Is this supposed to be a keyblade or a joke?” He crushes it, and in a matter of seconds it disintegrates. Saïx watches passively as Xemnas takes matters into his own hands with a display of power far exceeding the amounts he needed to use to weaken a downed man.

“Our plans have been dashed by you far more times than I care to count. I will purge that light in you.”

“With darkness-!” Xemnas’ strike is stopped by the replica. Far away in the back of his mind Saïx wonders why it doesn't surprise him.

“Changing sides again?” Xemnas is seemingly unperturbed by this course of events.

“We need him alive. You know that.” The replica speaks up so suddenly it surprises him. He almost believed it didn’t know how to talk.

“We only need his heart. We do not need his soul. Oh... But that's right. You two were “friends.” Saïx makes no move but he knows there is a bigger picture here and it's almost in focus. “Then… _you_ take his life.”

The replica aims their keyblade at Lea but doesn't immediately act and Lea manages to voice the question that's on both of their minds. “Who…. Are you?”

The replica's response is to strike, but once again it is halted, this time by Sora who calmly tells it not to do this, as if he understands more than he lets on.

That was not the best response, serving only to anger the replica further. She begins attacking him to which he blocks and finally manages to get a word in. “Stop, you don't have to do this! It's alright… Xion!”

The replica cries out in agony, turning away, as if having the name uttered is causing emotional turmoil.

“Useless puppet.”

Xemnas launches her into Sora knocking both of them down, removing her hood in the process and revealing a face Saïx swears it didn't have before.

And suddenly it comes back to both of them.

_That was… the 14th member. The original replica._

“Xion!” As Xemnas moves to dispose of her, Lea latches onto his leg, in a pitiful display of loyalty and friendship.

“Your keyblade is no more and still you think you can play at being a guardian of light?” He shakes off Lea's hands and steps on them. You can wait your turn, _also-ran_.” Xemnas turns back to finish the puppet off and-

“Hands off my friends.”

It seems the interruptions don't end. In the place Xemnas had been standing just moments ago the dust is settling around a figure Saïx was sure he'd never have to deal with again.

“It cannot be…!”

“...Roxas!”

“This is impossible…! Where did you get a vessel?”

“Same as you. I owe my return to many people, some of which you knew . It seems you aren't as good at winning over hearts as you thought.”

“I don't need hearts. I will scatter them all to the winds!” in a second Xemnas has taken the princess of light hostage. “What difference is one little light? You have more, just as we have more darknesses to replenish our ranks.” Xemnas disappears, leaving him to deal with this turn of events. Fantastic.

He takes one look at the trio that has been reunited, and the two people that have been the source of his problems for far too long, and that's all he needs. His mind blinded by white-hot fury, his body acts on its own. “I call on the Moon's pale light!”

But against the three keyblade wielders he didn't stand a chance.

This time it really was over, he knew. The rest of the Organization would not stand a chance against them and their newly revived members. It seemed… that there was more to light than meets the eye.

His weapon, which he had been using to hold himself upright, dissolved and he crashed to the ground.

And even after everything Lea still came to his side.

He'd rather the ground swallow him whole than look him in the eyes but there's no avoiding it this time so he attempts to deflect any concern. “Why… so sad?”

“You let them reduce you to this?!” Lea didn't look like he had it in him to be that angry at him.

“I thought… you outgrew the marks under your eyes.”

“So?”

“You look like… you could use them...”

“Stop it. The whole act.” He pauses before saying the kicker; “I thought this was all for her.”

“At first, maybe. I sacrificed everything to try and track her down.” He looks past Lea to the two standing quietly behind him. They don't look nearly as angry as they should, given everything, either. “You're the one who went off and made new friends. Left both of us in the dust... It infuriated me how you just exited our lives.” He's interrupted by a fit of pain that leaves him clutching his stomach, and that's all the invitation Lea needs to drop down next to him. “I lost... all sense of purpose...”

“I didn't forget you.”

“Yes… I know. You wouldn't do that.” He looks back up at the two he envied, regretting how quick he was to antagonize them and make life harder for them, when here they were looking down at him sadly with far too kind eyes for their own good. “But… I was jealous.”

“...! You admit it…”

“Well, if I make it back… You won't get it out of me a second time.” He attempts to get up, but only succeeds in falling further. But this time Lea is there to catch him and it causes what's left of him to shudder. Lea looks down at him, and something about the way he does gives him the urge to cart his hand through his hair but he doesn't have the energy for that. He expected Lea to look angry, or sad, or even smug.

But Lea just smiles comfortingly and says “See you, Isa.”

He smiles back, finally at peace with the world in his last moments. “See you, Lea.”

* * *

He expected he'd return to an uneasy darkness, or silent nothingness, but instead he had been enveloped in a comforting light. He supposed that was the true power of friendship.

What he did _not_ expect,  was to bolt awake in a surge of panic. Where was he _this_ time?

Unlike last time, he was in a bed in a dark room. No one was waiting for him to wake up and everything was quiet. He could only assume the guardians of light had prevailed and it was simply night here. But here was…?

He looked a bit closer at the room he was in, examining the walls and ceiling, as well as the furniture. Was this… a spare room in the castle? He didn’t really remember what they looked like but it felt familiar.

Well there was only one way to find out. He got up and exited the room, finding himself in the castle hallways. So he _had_ been returned to Radiant Garden. It appeared that most of the residents were sleeping, however, he found that the lights were still on in the lab.

“Ienzo?” He walked in to find the younger man hunched over a computer screen.

“Oh! Saï- I mean Isa,  you’re awake!”

“What am I doing here?” He didn’t wake up in the castle the first time… Or rather _this_ castle. It had been the Castle That Never Was. But now that he thought about it, why had he ended up there? He had lost his heart in Radiant Castle and… Oh. That must’ve been the Organization’s doing.  He hadn’t considered that at the time. But then, if he rejoined the organization from The World That Never Was he shouldn’t have been recompleted here this time. So how had he ended up here?

“We had been notified by the others to expect you soon, but no one knew where you’d show up. The last time, you had been recompleted you _should’ve_ ended up here with us, but you and Braig weren’t here when everyone else came to, so we weren’t sure what to expect this time. We didn’t know where you lost your heart, but we figured it might be a world that was inaccessible to you now and that you would end up in the world inbetween, known as Traverse Town. In one of our sweeps of the area we found you still unconscious and brought you back here.” Ah, that made sense. There was no way he could’ve been recompleted in The World That Never Was so he ended up there. But for them to actually bother retrieving him from there… It was more than he deserved from anyone. It was… kind.

That was something he’d have to get used to again.

“Thank you. You all have my gratitude.”

“Don’t mention it. It also provided us some invaluable data, so it wasn’t an inconvenience.”

“I see… Does anyone else know I’ve been recompleted?”

“Well, no, we hadn’t informed anyone yet. Only the members who were with us when we found you are aware.”

“Good. Then don’t bother.”

“But Lea wanted to-”

“Where is Lea, anyway?”

“Huh? Well last I heard he was in Twilight Town but-”

“Then don’t worry, I’ll tell him myself.” It was a lie, but one he hoped Ienzo would buy.

“Oh... Ok... Hey wait, where are you going? Don’t you think you should rest? We also wanted to run some observations and-”

“I’m fine. But there’s something I need to do now.” He wasn’t going to confront Lea, but he still wanted to go to Twilight Town, to see how they were doing for himself.

“...Well alright then, I suppose… But you probably shouldn’t go out like that anymore.”

He looked down for the first time and finally noticed he was still wearing the Organization’s coat. “Oh… I suppose you’re right.”

“It’s not much, but we found some of your old clothes for you and left it in your room.”

“Thank you, Ienzo. We should hangout sometime, in better circumstances.” And he was serious this time.

“Of course. Anytime.” Ienzo agreed, happy to be able to move on from the past.

* * *

They were up on the clock tower again.

He had been following Lea for several days now. Always in areas where he could mix into the crowd and remain unspotted, or in places where he could remain in the shadows, and never close by. He had determined this was tradition for them. Perhaps going back as far as their days in the Organization.

They had found a tenuous peace, and were finally starting to fall back into familiarity with each other.  Sometimes even some kids from town joined them and they all seemed to just enjoy each other’s presence.

That's right… Lea didn't really need him anymore, did he? He had Roxas and Xion.

_They were probably better friends to him than he had been._

Lea and his best friends were finally together again. He didn't need to mess it up a third time. After all, how could he reconcile what he had done to Roxas and Xion?

And Lea…

How could he repair what felt like an impossible distance between them?

It was just the trio on the clock tower today. They weren't as animated as usual, sitting in seemingly near silence. Their faces were more somber too. He wondered what had happened to set them all on edge like that…

No. He needed to go. They would be better off if he kept his distance. Maybe he could just return to his home in Radiant Garden and no one would notice.

* * *

Lea was starting to worry.

He hadn't heard anything from the rest of the team in Radiant Garden for a couple weeks now.

And he could swear he kept seeing vibrant flashes of blue in the corner of his vision sometimes. Maybe he was going crazy.  
  
He was trying to keep a light face but today he  just couldn't. He was starting to lose hope they'd ever find him. He didn't say a word to Roxas or Xion as he got on the tower. And he didn't have to. They knew what was wrong, and that they couldn't do anything to help. So they sat in silence too. The mood had dropped considerably.

Until Lea saw something that almost made him fall off the tower.

“Guys, I have to go! I'll catch up with you later!” He said, barely avoiding falling straight off the edge in his rush to get to the bottom.

That had to be _him._

* * *

He was almost in the clear until-

“Isa!”

His pulse quickened. He had lingered too long. He was torn between being overwhelmed just by the way Lea was calling for him and wanting to run as far away as possible. He ended up frozen to the spot.

“Isa! What… are you doing? Why didn't… you tell me… you were here?” Lea had to pause in between gasps for air, like he had just run a marathon. He finally managed to turn around to face Lea. Lea is hunched over with his hands on his knees, still trying to catch his breath and he's all Isa wants right now and-

He can't face him again.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here.” He turns to leave before Lea can object.

“Hey! Wait!-” Before he can get far Lea latches out and grabs onto his hand as if it were a life line.

He almost recoiled at the touch. No one had held his hand for a _very_ long time.

For a moment they just stood like that, only the sound of breathing between them, until Lea finally spoke up.

“Isa. Hey, look at me.” He begrudgingly obliged, turning around and doing his best not to avert his eyes.

“You don't have to go. I don't hate you.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Why? Just cause you were a little jealous? I can't blame you, I'd be jealous of me too.” Lea said with a smirk.

“...You're still as annoying as ever, I see that hasn't changed.” He says with a slight smile.

“Come on! You know you love it.”

They both laughed at this and it was almost like nothing had changed.

“Hey. Stay with me here in Twilight Town? Please?”

“...”

Was that it? Should it be this easy? Had things always been that easygoing between them? He was startled to find he no longer knew how things  _should_   be working. He felt even more confused than ever before.

“But you've already got two best friends here…”

“What? You think I want you here as another best friend? I've already got my hands full more than I can carry with two!”

“Huh? But then why... Why do you want things to work out so badly?"  
  
"Well because... _this_ " In a single fluid motion Lea closed the gap between them, leaning in with his hands on Isa's shoulders to lessen the unconscious jump that follows with suddenly having one's personal space invaded. But if Isa had any issues with their faces being mere inches apart he didnt voice them and with that, Lea closed his eyes and moved to kiss him. While his mind had suddenly gone blank at this, his body thankfully picked up the slack and in a moment he reciprocated it back as if it were as natural a thing as breathing.  
  
How had he gone so  _long_  without Lea?  
  
When he pulled back Lea was beaming at him, a sly grin on his face. "Got it memorized?"

His face was too hot and he was having trouble forming words so he made a slight nod instead.

“Let's go back into town now?”

“Y-yea…”

Lea grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers as they started back towards the town.

However, before they could get there his knees buckled and he fell to the floor, as if he had truly just processed it all and was having an emotional overload.

“Isa!”  
  
"I... it's been so long and... I" Lea had outgrown the tear marks, but it seems he had not. He was practically crying now, reduced to a sniffling, sobbing mess. Lea wrapped him in a hug, rubbing soothing circles in his back until gradually the crying and shaking subsisted.

“I'm sorry…” Lea said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“What're you apologizing for?”

“For leaving you behind.”

Now it was his turn to comfort Lea. He laughed at this. “Don't be ridiculous. You didn't leave me behind. I… just didn't want to share your attention. You can’t seem to stop making friends. I don't know how they all put up with your dumb face though.”

“Hey!” Lea tackled him the rest of the way to the ground and they collapsed in a heap of laughter.

Eventually Lea got up and extended a hand to Isa.

He smiled and took it, ready to make amends and set things right. He wasn't confused anymore.

One day they'd find her. But until then… he didn't mind being with Lea.

**Author's Note:**

> My borderline aro ass that hardly knows the first thing about love: this is... correctish? I think?
> 
> Guys help I'm worse than Isa here.
> 
> mdsklcsck God I CANT WRITE RELATIONSHIPS OR FLUFF.
> 
> *Mission failed* (we'll get em next time)
> 
> Seriously though I think I died trying to write that fucking kiss IT WAS SO HARD. I had to stop and pull myself together, you don't understand. This physically pained me to write. 
> 
> Next time I'm sticking to hand holding...
> 
> But I challenged myself this time and... I'm happy with it. So maybe it was worth it. Let me know if I actually got any of it right though, I crave validation.


End file.
